1 00:00:03,636 --> 00:00:08,407 What does it take to save a child in africa? 2 00:00:08,409 --> 00:00:10,609 To save them from the violence? 3 00:00:10,611 --> 00:00:15,347 To save them from becoming a child soldier? 4 00:00:15,515 --> 00:00:19,218 What if I told you that all it took 5 00:00:19,220 --> 00:00:22,388 Was just one beard? 6 00:00:22,390 --> 00:00:23,422 For the price of one costume beard, 7 00:00:23,424 --> 00:00:27,192 You can save a child from becoming another statistic, 8 00:00:27,194 --> 00:00:30,462 Another warlord's pawn. 9 00:00:30,464 --> 00:00:32,531 Be safe. 10 00:00:35,769 --> 00:00:38,337 That's right. 11 00:00:38,339 --> 00:00:40,372 Just one beard. 12 00:00:40,374 --> 00:00:44,343 And for a little more, you can get him a cane. 13 00:00:44,345 --> 00:00:47,112 [inspirational music] 14 00:00:47,114 --> 00:00:48,514 [music stops] 15 00:00:52,585 --> 00:00:53,352 [door closes] 16 00:00:53,354 --> 00:00:54,787 We are here for the children! 17 00:00:54,789 --> 00:00:57,256 [suspenseful music] 18 00:00:57,258 --> 00:01:01,293 ♪ ♪ 19 00:01:02,762 --> 00:01:06,365 [upbeat jazz music playing] 20 00:01:15,675 --> 00:01:16,442 These are all old people. 21 00:01:16,444 --> 00:01:19,378 We are wasting our time. 22 00:01:20,313 --> 00:01:21,880 Wait! 23 00:01:22,215 --> 00:01:25,317 [dramatic music] 24 00:01:25,319 --> 00:01:34,393 ♪ ♪ 25 00:01:39,899 --> 00:01:41,300 [whistles] 26 00:01:41,302 --> 00:01:42,234 [engine starts] 27 00:01:42,236 --> 00:01:44,303 Go, go! 28 00:01:44,305 --> 00:01:48,407 [inspirational music] 29 00:01:48,409 --> 00:01:51,310 ♪ ♪ 30 00:01:51,312 --> 00:01:53,212 Call today. 31 00:01:53,214 --> 00:02:01,587 ♪ ♪ 32 00:02:02,689 --> 00:02:06,158 [haunting western music] 33 00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:14,199 ♪ ♪ 34 00:02:30,783 --> 00:02:34,686 There was one time I was in my choir at school. 35 00:02:34,688 --> 00:02:36,355 - Mm-hmm. - My chorus teacher goes, 36 00:02:36,357 --> 00:02:38,490 "all right, so now we're gonna-- for this next number, 37 00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:40,359 We're gonna need somebody to play the tambourine." 38 00:02:40,361 --> 00:02:41,760 Oh, no. 39 00:02:41,762 --> 00:02:44,763 And, uh...It was very clear he gave it to me and was like 40 00:02:44,765 --> 00:02:47,533 You know, all right, jordan, this black kid, 41 00:02:47,535 --> 00:02:49,368 He's gonna be fine with this tambourine. 42 00:02:49,370 --> 00:02:50,936 I don't know, keegan, man. I'm just not-- 43 00:02:50,938 --> 00:02:52,471 You could not get it in there. 44 00:02:52,473 --> 00:02:53,872 The white half of me 45 00:02:53,874 --> 00:02:55,407 Was just rocking that tambourine. 46 00:02:55,409 --> 00:02:57,676 And you were on the two and the four. 47 00:02:57,678 --> 00:02:59,778 (jordan) and, like, I think by the end of the class, 48 00:02:59,780 --> 00:03:01,780 I was ashamed I was half white. 49 00:03:01,782 --> 00:03:03,649 You just couldn't get it going, huh? 50 00:03:03,651 --> 00:03:04,416 I still am. 51 00:03:04,418 --> 00:03:05,551 You're still ashamed that you're half white? 52 00:03:05,553 --> 00:03:06,652 Yeah. 53 00:03:06,654 --> 00:03:08,854 I hope your mom isn't watching this episode. 54 00:03:08,856 --> 00:03:09,521 No, she's fine. 55 00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:11,823 She's probably ashamed of it, too. 56 00:03:11,825 --> 00:03:13,325 [laughs] 57 00:03:14,394 --> 00:03:16,495 One, two... 58 00:03:16,497 --> 00:03:16,995 [scats] 59 00:03:16,997 --> 00:03:21,800 (all) ♪ there goes the girl who owns my heart ♪ 60 00:03:21,802 --> 00:03:26,438 ♪ I knew she was the one right from the start ♪ 61 00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:28,774 - ♪ ooh-wah ♪ - ♪ our love is here to stay ♪ 62 00:03:28,776 --> 00:03:30,375 - ♪ ooh-wah ♪ - ♪ each and every day ♪ 63 00:03:30,377 --> 00:03:35,013 ♪ we know that we will never part ♪ 64 00:03:35,015 --> 00:03:37,449 [scats] 65 00:03:37,451 --> 00:03:39,818 (lyle) oh, wow. 66 00:03:39,820 --> 00:03:40,819 Great work, everybody. 67 00:03:40,821 --> 00:03:44,256 Troy, I love that little motown outro thing. 68 00:03:44,258 --> 00:03:44,823 Super soulful. 69 00:03:44,825 --> 00:03:46,291 Cool. Thanks, lyle. 70 00:03:46,293 --> 00:03:49,895 Yeah, it just, uh, came to me, so I went with it. 71 00:03:49,897 --> 00:03:50,696 Wow. That's crazy. 72 00:03:50,698 --> 00:03:53,865 Hey, is this where the a cappella group meets? 73 00:03:53,867 --> 00:03:55,367 - Oh, hey, mark. - Hey, lyle. 74 00:03:55,369 --> 00:03:56,134 What's going on, buddy? 75 00:03:56,136 --> 00:03:57,302 - Mark, get over here. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 76 00:03:57,304 --> 00:03:58,337 (lyle) guys, this is my buddy, mark. 77 00:03:58,339 --> 00:03:59,605 He just transferred from minnesota. 78 00:03:59,607 --> 00:04:01,840 I thought he could sit in on a few practices. 79 00:04:01,842 --> 00:04:03,675 I don't know, maybe join the group? 80 00:04:03,677 --> 00:04:04,843 Maybe. [chuckles] 81 00:04:04,845 --> 00:04:05,711 (lyle) all right, guys. 82 00:04:05,713 --> 00:04:06,979 Let's do "always been my girl" again, from the top. 83 00:04:06,981 --> 00:04:09,047 - "always been my girl," okay. - And...Mark? 84 00:04:09,049 --> 00:04:10,782 - Show us your stuff. - You got it, man. 85 00:04:10,784 --> 00:04:11,783 - (lyle) all right, guys. Ready? 86 00:04:11,785 --> 00:04:14,586 - One, two... - [scats] 87 00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:16,822 (all) ♪ there goes the girl ♪ 88 00:04:16,824 --> 00:04:18,991 ♪ who owns my heart ♪ 89 00:04:18,993 --> 00:04:23,729 ♪ I knew she was the one right from the start ♪ 90 00:04:23,731 --> 00:04:26,331 - ♪ ooh wah ♪ - ♪ our love is here to stay ♪ 91 00:04:26,333 --> 00:04:28,467 - ♪ ooh wah ♪ - ♪ each and every day ♪ 92 00:04:28,469 --> 00:04:31,737 ♪ we know that we will never part ♪ 93 00:04:31,739 --> 00:04:34,339 [scats] 94 00:04:34,341 --> 00:04:39,011 ♪ ooh-wee-ee-ooh ♪ 95 00:04:39,013 --> 00:04:39,811 [all laugh and clap] 96 00:04:39,813 --> 00:04:41,780 (lyle) you got to be kidding me. 97 00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:43,515 Mark, that was out of this world. 98 00:04:43,517 --> 00:04:45,951 Oh, gosh, okay, well, hey, it just came to me, 99 00:04:45,953 --> 00:04:47,552 So I just went with it. 100 00:04:47,554 --> 00:04:48,654 (lyle) great. Well, keep going with it. 101 00:04:48,656 --> 00:04:51,723 Guys, have a safe weekend, all right? 102 00:04:51,725 --> 00:04:54,493 - See you on Monday. - Nice to meet you guys, man. 103 00:04:54,495 --> 00:04:56,461 - That was awesome. - Isn't he the best? 104 00:04:56,463 --> 00:04:57,562 Cool, guys. Great practice. 105 00:04:57,564 --> 00:04:59,364 - Troy, good effort. - All right. 106 00:04:59,366 --> 00:04:59,965 [troy laughs] 107 00:04:59,967 --> 00:05:01,500 Yeah, check you later, guys. 108 00:05:01,502 --> 00:05:05,003 See you later, alligators. 109 00:05:06,439 --> 00:05:10,409 [ominous music] 110 00:05:10,411 --> 00:05:17,983 ♪ ♪ 111 00:05:18,351 --> 00:05:21,787 The [bleep] you think you doing, [bleep]? 112 00:05:21,789 --> 00:05:25,057 I'm doing my thing, [bleep]. 113 00:05:25,059 --> 00:05:26,692 The [bleep] you doing? 114 00:05:26,694 --> 00:05:28,093 See... 115 00:05:28,095 --> 00:05:31,930 This is my seven white boys, [bleep]. 116 00:05:31,932 --> 00:05:34,099 - [scoffs] - you need to back 117 00:05:34,101 --> 00:05:36,068 The [bleep] up. 118 00:05:36,070 --> 00:05:39,071 [bleep] that, [bleep]. 119 00:05:39,073 --> 00:05:40,706 I'm 'bouts to get mine. 120 00:05:40,708 --> 00:05:43,442 Do you have any idea how long it took 121 00:05:43,444 --> 00:05:47,879 For me to infiltrate this group, [bleep]? 122 00:05:48,948 --> 00:05:51,116 25 minutes. 123 00:05:52,018 --> 00:05:53,618 You think I'm gonna roll over 124 00:05:53,620 --> 00:05:56,722 For some falsetto-ass mother[bleep]? 125 00:05:56,724 --> 00:05:58,423 [scoffs] 126 00:05:58,425 --> 00:06:01,560 Well, you know what, [bleep]? 127 00:06:01,562 --> 00:06:06,098 White boys is gonna do what white boys is gonna do. 128 00:06:06,100 --> 00:06:06,998 And if they want to run 129 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:11,870 With a high-ass-singing falsetto [bleep], 130 00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:13,705 Then that's on them. 131 00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:14,906 Oh, that's on them, then? 132 00:06:14,908 --> 00:06:16,074 Oh, that's on them, then. 133 00:06:16,076 --> 00:06:16,942 Okay, so it's like that? 134 00:06:16,944 --> 00:06:19,077 Oh, it's so like that. 135 00:06:19,079 --> 00:06:20,445 Well, watch your back, [bleep]! 136 00:06:20,447 --> 00:06:22,748 - Okay. - Watch your back, [bleep]! 137 00:06:22,750 --> 00:06:25,016 'cause you [bleep] with my [bleep], 138 00:06:25,018 --> 00:06:27,853 I'll [bleep] with your [bleep], [bleep]! 139 00:06:27,855 --> 00:06:29,588 [echoing] 140 00:06:30,823 --> 00:06:32,190 (man) and improvise. 141 00:06:32,192 --> 00:06:34,860 Oh, it's so cold out, and it's going to be dark soon. 142 00:06:34,862 --> 00:06:36,728 Oh, my god. Yeah, we should build a fire. 143 00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:38,797 Right, yeah, um, like... 144 00:06:38,799 --> 00:06:40,632 Oh! Fire! Fire! 145 00:06:40,634 --> 00:06:42,200 Freeze! 146 00:06:42,735 --> 00:06:45,604 Oh, no. It's a black cat. 147 00:06:45,606 --> 00:06:46,471 Hey, man. 148 00:06:46,473 --> 00:06:49,474 Why the cat got to be black? 149 00:06:49,476 --> 00:06:51,743 [laughter] 150 00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:52,611 Freeze! 151 00:06:52,613 --> 00:06:55,747 [dramatic music] 152 00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:56,882 ♪ ♪ 153 00:06:56,884 --> 00:06:59,618 Man, I guess I got to put my dick away. 154 00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:03,755 [laughter] 155 00:07:04,657 --> 00:07:07,926 [suspenseful music] 156 00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:16,168 ♪ ♪ 157 00:07:34,787 --> 00:07:35,954 Like a legitimate date 158 00:07:35,956 --> 00:07:37,355 In the definition of a date in the dictionary, 159 00:07:37,357 --> 00:07:38,690 I feel like I've been on four dates in my whole life. 160 00:07:38,692 --> 00:07:42,527 The problem with dating is, like, if I start to date, 161 00:07:42,529 --> 00:07:47,365 I'm trying to do what I think you're supposed to do on a date. 162 00:07:47,367 --> 00:07:50,135 So it's like, we're about to see a movie, right? 163 00:07:50,137 --> 00:07:50,936 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 164 00:07:50,938 --> 00:07:53,104 And then, look, this is how you be a sexy date. 165 00:07:53,106 --> 00:07:54,606 You be like, "you know what?" 166 00:07:54,608 --> 00:07:55,941 - Screw it. - Screw this. 167 00:07:55,943 --> 00:07:57,909 Let's go take a walk by the canal. 168 00:07:57,911 --> 00:07:59,945 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 169 00:07:59,947 --> 00:08:00,779 You almost there, you go, 170 00:08:00,781 --> 00:08:03,081 "you know what? Let's get out of here. 171 00:08:03,083 --> 00:08:03,949 Let's go to my place." 172 00:08:03,951 --> 00:08:06,551 On the way to your place, do you throw another one in there? 173 00:08:06,553 --> 00:08:07,552 You know what? Screw this. 174 00:08:07,554 --> 00:08:08,954 Screw this. Let's go skip in the fountain. 175 00:08:08,956 --> 00:08:11,490 - Come on. Why not? - Pick up some chroners, or... 176 00:08:11,492 --> 00:08:12,624 And then after you get out of the fountain? 177 00:08:12,626 --> 00:08:13,992 You know what? Screw it. Let's hit the cinema. 178 00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:16,561 Let's go to a movie. And then you're soaking wet. 179 00:08:16,563 --> 00:08:17,796 Right. Yeah. And, of course, you know-- 180 00:08:17,798 --> 00:08:19,898 - Watching some god-awful film. - You see a bad film. 181 00:08:19,900 --> 00:08:21,967 Also the fact that it's air conditioned in there. 182 00:08:21,969 --> 00:08:23,435 - Yeah. - Give yourself a chill. 183 00:08:26,973 --> 00:08:28,874 [laughter] 184 00:08:28,876 --> 00:08:30,609 God, the moment I saw you last night in the club, 185 00:08:30,611 --> 00:08:32,878 Totally had to ask you out. 186 00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:34,646 Are you kidding me? Like, the moment? 187 00:08:34,648 --> 00:08:35,580 - Oh, yeah. - That's so sweet. 188 00:08:35,582 --> 00:08:37,482 And I was actually afraid that you were going to be, like, 189 00:08:37,484 --> 00:08:41,853 One of those high-maintenance chicks, you know? 190 00:08:41,855 --> 00:08:42,988 - What? - Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. 191 00:08:42,990 --> 00:08:46,458 I don't know. Control freak or-- I don't even know. 192 00:08:46,460 --> 00:08:49,027 Oh, my god. That's so funny. 193 00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:49,628 Isn't it? 194 00:08:49,630 --> 00:08:50,595 Is it? Is it funny? Is it funny? 195 00:08:50,597 --> 00:08:55,033 No. I'm, like, I totally just like to be just easygoing. 196 00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:56,101 - Yeah, yeah. - Hi, I'm wayne. 197 00:08:56,103 --> 00:08:57,736 - I'll be your waiter. - It's been five minutes 198 00:08:57,738 --> 00:09:01,106 And we're just now getting our menus? 199 00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:03,775 Oh, I'm sorry. 200 00:09:03,777 --> 00:09:05,143 Don't be sorry. 201 00:09:05,145 --> 00:09:07,779 Be better. 202 00:09:07,781 --> 00:09:09,814 Right. Okay. I'll be better. 203 00:09:09,816 --> 00:09:10,982 At your job. 204 00:09:10,984 --> 00:09:12,918 [tense music] 205 00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:15,020 Thank you. 206 00:09:16,022 --> 00:09:19,024 So, yeah, my philosophy is pretty much like, 207 00:09:19,026 --> 00:09:19,658 Keep it chill. 208 00:09:19,660 --> 00:09:21,526 Right, yeah, yeah. 209 00:09:21,528 --> 00:09:22,627 You know what I like about you? 210 00:09:22,629 --> 00:09:24,529 - No, what? - It's like you're not afraid 211 00:09:24,531 --> 00:09:27,732 To be, like, brainy and respectful. 212 00:09:27,734 --> 00:09:28,733 Right. Thanks. 213 00:09:28,735 --> 00:09:30,168 I really like your boobs. 214 00:09:30,170 --> 00:09:30,769 [chuckles] 215 00:09:30,771 --> 00:09:32,804 I think we really complement each other well. 216 00:09:32,806 --> 00:09:33,772 We just did it right there. 217 00:09:33,774 --> 00:09:36,875 And, uh, I pretty much go with the flow. 218 00:09:36,877 --> 00:09:37,542 Right, right. 219 00:09:37,544 --> 00:09:41,179 What the [bleep] is wrong with you? 220 00:09:41,181 --> 00:09:42,113 Excuse me? 221 00:09:42,115 --> 00:09:44,649 Do I look like mad max to you? 222 00:09:44,651 --> 00:09:45,250 I-I'm sorry? 223 00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:48,787 Do I look like mel gibson with a mullet? 224 00:09:48,789 --> 00:09:49,821 I... 225 00:09:49,823 --> 00:09:50,956 No, not at all. 226 00:09:50,958 --> 00:09:52,757 Does he look like a feral child 227 00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:54,793 With a boomerang in his hand? 228 00:09:54,795 --> 00:09:55,493 No. 229 00:09:55,495 --> 00:09:58,597 Then why the [bleep] is water a rare commodity here? 230 00:09:58,599 --> 00:09:59,564 It's--it's not. I'm just, uh-- 231 00:09:59,566 --> 00:10:02,567 [fake laughing] 232 00:10:02,569 --> 00:10:03,668 I'm sorry. I'm just really slammed. 233 00:10:03,670 --> 00:10:04,936 No, you'll know when you're slammed 234 00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:06,137 Because your nuts will be on the table 235 00:10:06,139 --> 00:10:08,773 And my fists will be covered in your blood. 236 00:10:08,775 --> 00:10:11,910 [dramatic music] 237 00:10:11,912 --> 00:10:14,646 ♪ ♪ 238 00:10:15,748 --> 00:10:19,217 Um... 239 00:10:19,219 --> 00:10:20,518 You were, uh... 240 00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:23,622 Like, kind of harsh to that guy. 241 00:10:23,624 --> 00:10:24,923 Oh, him? 242 00:10:24,925 --> 00:10:25,657 - Yeah. - No. 243 00:10:25,659 --> 00:10:28,627 I was a hostess at a restaurant. 244 00:10:28,629 --> 00:10:30,762 In the industry, that's how we talk to each other. 245 00:10:30,764 --> 00:10:33,131 I'll show you. Hey! 246 00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:34,666 Uh, hey. 247 00:10:34,668 --> 00:10:35,700 What do you see there? 248 00:10:35,702 --> 00:10:37,235 That's your water. 249 00:10:37,237 --> 00:10:38,770 No, no, no, no, no, no. Down. 250 00:10:38,772 --> 00:10:39,671 Down? 251 00:10:39,673 --> 00:10:42,273 Down, boy. Get on your knees. 252 00:10:42,275 --> 00:10:45,010 Okay, I have other tables that I have... 253 00:10:45,012 --> 00:10:47,112 What does that look like to you? 254 00:10:47,114 --> 00:10:49,114 Yes, there's a little lipstick on your glass. 255 00:10:49,116 --> 00:10:50,582 - Okay. - But it... 256 00:10:50,584 --> 00:10:51,416 Megan, it's your--it's yours-- 257 00:10:51,418 --> 00:10:52,317 This is what I want you to do. 258 00:10:52,319 --> 00:10:55,120 I want you to take this glass into the back. 259 00:10:55,122 --> 00:10:56,054 I want you to break it, 260 00:10:56,056 --> 00:10:59,758 Take the biggest shard you can find, and bring it to me. 261 00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:00,992 I'm... 262 00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:03,061 Then I want to slit your gullet. 263 00:11:03,063 --> 00:11:04,896 All right, I'm just-- I'll get you another water-- 264 00:11:04,898 --> 00:11:08,833 I'm going to slit your throat and watch you bleed out, 265 00:11:08,835 --> 00:11:10,001 And I'm going to shower in your blood. 266 00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:13,004 All right, I'll... I'll get another water. 267 00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:15,774 Well, that would be great. Thank you. 268 00:11:15,776 --> 00:11:17,842 But as I was saying, like, 269 00:11:17,844 --> 00:11:20,745 I just feel like it's like do unto others. 270 00:11:20,747 --> 00:11:22,814 Megan! 271 00:11:22,816 --> 00:11:24,749 It was your lipstick on the glass. 272 00:11:24,751 --> 00:11:28,119 [dramatic music] 273 00:11:28,121 --> 00:11:29,688 What the hell is that? What are you doing? 274 00:11:31,190 --> 00:11:32,724 Wait. Wait, no, no, no, no. 275 00:11:32,726 --> 00:11:35,760 Oh, man. 276 00:11:35,762 --> 00:11:37,896 Let me just tell you, 277 00:11:37,898 --> 00:11:40,699 No one's ever talked to me like that in my life. 278 00:11:40,701 --> 00:11:42,801 I'm just saying that your lipstick-- 279 00:11:42,803 --> 00:11:45,737 You have his back? 280 00:11:45,739 --> 00:11:47,639 Who does that? 281 00:11:47,641 --> 00:11:49,808 It was your lipstick on the glass. 282 00:11:49,810 --> 00:11:53,078 He's just a waiter. 283 00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:54,079 You know what? Take his side. 284 00:11:54,081 --> 00:11:55,914 - I'm not-- - and I hope you have 285 00:11:55,916 --> 00:11:58,650 A very happy life together. 286 00:11:58,652 --> 00:11:59,918 Megan. 287 00:11:59,920 --> 00:12:02,854 What's going on right now? 288 00:12:02,856 --> 00:12:03,855 What are you...? 289 00:12:03,857 --> 00:12:06,958 [dramatic music] 290 00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:11,362 ♪ ♪ 291 00:12:11,364 --> 00:12:13,398 - Seriously, megan-- - no! 292 00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:14,032 No. 293 00:12:14,034 --> 00:12:15,867 Megan! You left your jacket! 294 00:12:15,869 --> 00:12:20,071 - Hey, you left your jacket! - Hey. Hey, hey. 295 00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:20,739 Don't do it. 296 00:12:20,741 --> 00:12:23,742 Man, I just hurt her feelings, and then she left her jacket. 297 00:12:23,744 --> 00:12:25,343 The least I could do is give her back her jacket. 298 00:12:25,345 --> 00:12:26,811 Don't do it. Don't do it. 299 00:12:26,813 --> 00:12:28,213 - She [bleep] needs this jacket. - She does not need it. 300 00:12:28,215 --> 00:12:30,348 It's 87 degrees out. You know she doesn't need it. 301 00:12:30,350 --> 00:12:34,252 In your heart of hearts you know she doesn't need that jacket. 302 00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:35,820 Don't do it. 303 00:12:37,223 --> 00:12:38,656 I think she's going to need her jacket. 304 00:12:38,658 --> 00:12:39,958 No, she's not going to need it. She's not gonna need it. 305 00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:42,694 Megan, you left your jacket, though! 306 00:12:42,696 --> 00:12:45,697 ♪ ♪ 307 00:12:45,699 --> 00:12:46,698 Seemed like a nice guy. 308 00:12:55,407 --> 00:12:57,008 If you were a villain, 309 00:12:57,010 --> 00:13:00,745 Like, what would you do to make your villain memorable? 310 00:13:00,747 --> 00:13:02,413 I would be called the puppeteer. 311 00:13:02,415 --> 00:13:05,283 - Of course you would. - I'd be a super villain. 312 00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:06,484 You could be my number-one henchman. 313 00:13:06,486 --> 00:13:09,154 Yeah, can I be the crackin? Just like--I just want-- 314 00:13:09,156 --> 00:13:10,221 Because then you could say, 315 00:13:10,223 --> 00:13:12,891 "come on, y'all, release the crackin." 316 00:13:12,893 --> 00:13:14,225 And then I would just be like... [makes squeaking noise] 317 00:13:14,227 --> 00:13:16,995 And I just come out the side door with, like, a hood. 318 00:13:16,997 --> 00:13:20,165 - Release the crackin, james. - No, I wouldn't do that. 319 00:13:20,167 --> 00:13:21,332 And james would be your-- your butler. 320 00:13:21,334 --> 00:13:23,001 - Nope. I don't... - And he'd be sitting down there 321 00:13:23,003 --> 00:13:23,935 Next to you, saying-- 322 00:13:23,937 --> 00:13:26,070 James is not a good... 323 00:13:26,072 --> 00:13:27,071 Okay, jeeves, you could call him. 324 00:13:27,073 --> 00:13:29,774 "hey, jeeves, go down to the cellar 325 00:13:29,776 --> 00:13:30,842 And release the crackin." 326 00:13:30,844 --> 00:13:33,111 So I'm the mastermind, so I probably should... 327 00:13:33,113 --> 00:13:37,081 Just, like, figure out what the words are and what-- 328 00:13:37,083 --> 00:13:40,451 "well, I'll--I'll be. There's the crackin." 329 00:13:40,453 --> 00:13:42,787 My supervillain doesn't need input. 330 00:13:46,358 --> 00:13:48,860 [east indian music] 331 00:13:48,862 --> 00:13:52,330 Okay, there is your hero fusion burger, sir. 332 00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:52,931 Thank you. 333 00:13:52,933 --> 00:13:55,433 And, sir, if you could just wait for one moment. 334 00:13:55,435 --> 00:13:57,769 We are very, very busy today. I'm so sorry. 335 00:13:57,771 --> 00:14:00,071 Another great day of business, brother abraham. 336 00:14:00,073 --> 00:14:01,472 Oh, my gosh. Are you kidding me? 337 00:14:01,474 --> 00:14:03,508 Look, we are raking in the money. 338 00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:04,776 Praise allah. I know. 339 00:14:04,778 --> 00:14:06,077 I have just bought a flat screen television. 340 00:14:06,079 --> 00:14:08,379 - Really? - High definition. 341 00:14:08,381 --> 00:14:10,481 We should watch some of the american films on the screen. 342 00:14:10,483 --> 00:14:11,449 Come, come. I have the la-z-boy. 343 00:14:11,451 --> 00:14:14,886 - I have the la-z-boy sofa. - Oh, my god, we could-- 344 00:14:14,888 --> 00:14:17,088 Salam alaykum. 345 00:14:17,090 --> 00:14:20,225 Brother abraham, brother osman. 346 00:14:20,227 --> 00:14:22,861 Wa-alaikum-salaam, brother mustafa. 347 00:14:22,863 --> 00:14:24,295 Wa-alaikum-salaam, brother mustafa. 348 00:14:24,297 --> 00:14:27,799 What are you doing here in United States? 349 00:14:27,801 --> 00:14:30,034 - A joyous surprise. - Yes, absolutely. 350 00:14:30,036 --> 00:14:33,171 I was just checking on your progress. 351 00:14:33,173 --> 00:14:33,805 Of course. 352 00:14:33,807 --> 00:14:38,910 This is a very good front for your sleeper cell. 353 00:14:38,912 --> 00:14:39,410 [chuckles] 354 00:14:39,412 --> 00:14:42,113 The americans will never see it coming. 355 00:14:42,115 --> 00:14:44,582 They are totally fooled, brother mustafa. 356 00:14:44,584 --> 00:14:46,251 They think that we are just two immigrants 357 00:14:46,253 --> 00:14:50,121 Who are in love with the amazing amounts of money 358 00:14:50,123 --> 00:14:51,155 That you can make being entrepreneurs. 359 00:14:51,157 --> 00:14:54,559 I mean, this food truck is, like, just printing money. 360 00:14:54,561 --> 00:14:56,194 It's a little crazy, to be honest with you. 361 00:14:56,196 --> 00:14:59,030 It's like a bottomless pit of money. 362 00:14:59,032 --> 00:15:00,531 You can just reach in, pull it out... 363 00:15:00,533 --> 00:15:03,368 Well, in reality, brother abraham. 364 00:15:03,370 --> 00:15:05,904 Yes, well, in reality, we--we--we want to destroy 365 00:15:05,906 --> 00:15:08,873 As many of the imperialist infidels as possible. 366 00:15:09,041 --> 00:15:10,909 Right. 367 00:15:12,111 --> 00:15:15,914 But what I don't understand is... 368 00:15:15,916 --> 00:15:20,318 You have your target, you have your explosives. 369 00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:24,055 Why not just put the bomb on the truck 370 00:15:24,057 --> 00:15:26,291 And then drive it straight into the building, 371 00:15:26,293 --> 00:15:29,160 Killing as many infidels as you can? 372 00:15:29,162 --> 00:15:34,299 No. So, the thing...Is... 373 00:15:34,301 --> 00:15:36,301 That we are already doing it. 374 00:15:36,303 --> 00:15:39,437 How is that possible? 375 00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:41,572 You see, brother mustafa, 376 00:15:41,574 --> 00:15:47,578 These sandwiches are loaded with cholesterol. 377 00:15:47,580 --> 00:15:51,115 Slowly, the infidels, they grow fat, 378 00:15:51,117 --> 00:15:53,284 And their arteries start to clog-- 379 00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:54,185 Stop it! 380 00:15:54,187 --> 00:15:59,324 I'm beginning to doubt your dedication to the cause. 381 00:15:59,326 --> 00:16:00,358 - No, no, no, no. - Hey, guy? 382 00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:03,328 (man) can I just order a fusion burger? I'm in a hurry. 383 00:16:03,330 --> 00:16:07,332 Uh, yes... $9 please. 384 00:16:07,334 --> 00:16:11,436 Our leaders will be very displeased. 385 00:16:11,438 --> 00:16:14,973 Did you say $9 for one? 386 00:16:14,975 --> 00:16:15,907 Uh, yes. Yes. 387 00:16:15,909 --> 00:16:20,211 One dollar extra for crazy, rockin' hummus dip. 388 00:16:20,213 --> 00:16:22,213 How much do they cost to make? 389 00:16:22,215 --> 00:16:26,150 - $1.50. - $1.50. 390 00:16:26,152 --> 00:16:27,485 Pretty good margins. 391 00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:29,087 - Yes. - Yes, yes, yes. 392 00:16:29,089 --> 00:16:31,489 How many do you sell a day? 393 00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:33,057 I don't know, I don't know. Maybe 100? 394 00:16:33,059 --> 00:16:36,094 - 100? - Yes, sometimes two. 395 00:16:36,096 --> 00:16:38,262 On a good day, maybe two. 396 00:16:38,264 --> 00:16:40,498 What? 397 00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:42,600 So 200 is a big day. 398 00:16:43,235 --> 00:16:45,336 But you are ignoring your mission! 399 00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:46,170 [dramatic music] 400 00:16:46,172 --> 00:16:48,706 You will pay the ultimate price! 401 00:16:48,708 --> 00:16:51,209 (abraham) no, no, no, no. No, mustafa. 402 00:16:51,211 --> 00:16:52,110 We are still pure. 403 00:16:52,112 --> 00:16:56,147 [suspenseful music] 404 00:16:56,149 --> 00:17:02,420 ♪ ♪ 405 00:17:04,223 --> 00:17:05,323 Okay, that sounds good. 406 00:17:05,325 --> 00:17:09,660 Your order will be right up. That'll be $9, please. 407 00:17:10,262 --> 00:17:12,263 All right, thank you. 408 00:17:12,265 --> 00:17:13,664 My friends! 409 00:17:13,666 --> 00:17:16,300 You must try mustafa-kebab! 410 00:17:16,302 --> 00:17:17,268 Only $5. 411 00:17:17,270 --> 00:17:21,672 And one rock and roll baba ghanoush, $1 extra. 412 00:17:21,674 --> 00:17:22,640 Come on. 413 00:17:22,642 --> 00:17:23,608 No, no, no. Wait, wait, wait, wait. 414 00:17:23,610 --> 00:17:27,111 - Your hero fusion burger. - You... 415 00:17:30,549 --> 00:17:36,687 - No, okay. Sorry. - Sorry. 416 00:17:36,689 --> 00:17:38,856 I'll tell you, we still got it, otis. 417 00:17:38,858 --> 00:17:40,525 Oh, yeah. Yes, we do. 418 00:17:40,527 --> 00:17:42,527 - True that, walden. - Mm-hmm. 419 00:17:42,529 --> 00:17:43,728 - All right. - We here, ain't we? 420 00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:46,297 Oh, yeah. Hey, we hittin' it in business right now. 421 00:17:46,299 --> 00:17:50,868 [both croak loudly] 422 00:17:50,870 --> 00:17:52,437 [both sigh] 423 00:17:52,439 --> 00:17:55,573 We out here, straight hitting the bricks, as it were. 424 00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:56,607 Hey, hey, I'm gonna tell you right now, 425 00:17:56,609 --> 00:17:59,744 I got a pocket full of nickels, and I'm ready to get loose. 426 00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:00,545 - All right! - [laughs] 427 00:18:00,547 --> 00:18:02,814 - Okay. - Can I, uh... 428 00:18:02,816 --> 00:18:03,614 Get another round, please? 429 00:18:03,616 --> 00:18:07,185 [hip-hop music playing] 430 00:18:07,187 --> 00:18:08,286 - Here we go. - Oh, yeah. 431 00:18:08,288 --> 00:18:10,621 [both mumbling] 432 00:18:10,623 --> 00:18:12,356 You guys like drake? 433 00:18:12,358 --> 00:18:14,192 - Drink? - A drink? 434 00:18:14,194 --> 00:18:15,293 We got--we got drinks. 435 00:18:15,295 --> 00:18:16,594 - All sorted out on the... - We got 'em, young buck. 436 00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:18,362 Drink front there, tiny tim. 437 00:18:18,364 --> 00:18:19,697 Drake. 438 00:18:19,699 --> 00:18:21,532 Like drake, the rapper. He's a musician. 439 00:18:21,534 --> 00:18:23,267 Like, "started from the bottom, now we here." 440 00:18:23,269 --> 00:18:24,769 Drake. 441 00:18:24,771 --> 00:18:26,437 Drink? You saying "drink." 442 00:18:26,439 --> 00:18:27,738 You know a musician called drink? 443 00:18:27,740 --> 00:18:29,373 Okay, you know what? Never--never mind. 444 00:18:29,375 --> 00:18:31,709 Uh, you guys are awesome. 445 00:18:31,711 --> 00:18:33,478 ♪ ♪ 446 00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:34,378 [both scoff] 447 00:18:34,380 --> 00:18:35,379 - Drink. - Awesome. 448 00:18:35,381 --> 00:18:36,414 He over here talking about drake. 449 00:18:36,416 --> 00:18:38,382 - "you guys are awesome." - I don't know about no drake. 450 00:18:38,384 --> 00:18:39,383 I don't know nothing about no drake. 451 00:18:39,385 --> 00:18:40,485 I'll tell you another thing, 452 00:18:40,487 --> 00:18:42,887 I'm trying to watch my calorie intake. 453 00:18:42,889 --> 00:18:44,222 Ain't worried about no drink. 454 00:18:44,224 --> 00:18:45,490 Concerned about digesting my steak. 455 00:18:45,492 --> 00:18:48,259 - Talk about drake. - Talking about drake. 456 00:18:48,261 --> 00:18:49,894 I'm having a hard enough time staying awake. 457 00:18:49,896 --> 00:18:51,329 I can't be concerning myself with drake. 458 00:18:51,331 --> 00:18:52,630 You know. 459 00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:54,732 Poured orange juice on my corn flakes. 460 00:18:54,734 --> 00:18:55,333 Yeah. 461 00:18:55,335 --> 00:18:56,634 He talking about drake. Trying to talk about drake. 462 00:18:56,636 --> 00:19:01,305 I need five breaths to blow out my birthday cake. 463 00:19:01,307 --> 00:19:02,907 I ain't concerned about no drake. 464 00:19:02,909 --> 00:19:03,774 - Drake. - You want to be 465 00:19:03,776 --> 00:19:05,943 Concerned about drake, that's on your time, brother. 466 00:19:05,945 --> 00:19:08,613 Shoot, man. Lost my teeth in a lake. 467 00:19:08,615 --> 00:19:10,515 I'm over here like a 1930s cartoon 468 00:19:10,517 --> 00:19:12,650 Hitting my head when I step on a rake. 469 00:19:12,652 --> 00:19:13,651 [mimics slap] whoo! 470 00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:14,385 [mimics birds flying] 471 00:19:14,387 --> 00:19:15,286 I don't know no drake. 472 00:19:15,288 --> 00:19:18,923 Over here talking about drake. You concerned about drake. 473 00:19:18,925 --> 00:19:20,291 I'm gonna tell you what I'm concerned about. 474 00:19:20,293 --> 00:19:23,261 Making it to the john without making a bathroom mistake. 475 00:19:23,263 --> 00:19:24,295 My left eyeball is a fake. 476 00:19:24,297 --> 00:19:25,863 Sperm, my testicles do not make. 477 00:19:25,865 --> 00:19:27,331 I woke up this morning and my booty hole ache. 478 00:19:27,333 --> 00:19:29,467 - Drake. Drake. - Drake. Drake. 479 00:19:29,469 --> 00:19:30,968 I ain't give a [bleep] about no drake. 480 00:19:30,970 --> 00:19:32,436 You know all about drake. 481 00:19:32,438 --> 00:19:34,572 [speaking gibberish] drake. 482 00:19:34,574 --> 00:19:38,676 Drake. 483 00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:39,377 [scoffs] 484 00:19:39,379 --> 00:19:40,945 Oh, hey, now. Look at them. 485 00:19:40,947 --> 00:19:43,681 Look at these two old-timers over here. 486 00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:45,249 [both chuckling] 487 00:19:45,251 --> 00:19:47,485 Now, take it easy on them, walden. 488 00:19:47,487 --> 00:19:48,819 [both laughing] 489 00:19:48,821 --> 00:19:49,687 I will, otis. I will, brother. 490 00:19:49,689 --> 00:19:50,288 I will. 491 00:19:50,290 --> 00:19:52,290 [both chuckling] 492 00:19:52,292 --> 00:19:54,458 Hey! Hello, gentlemen. 493 00:19:54,460 --> 00:19:56,861 Y'all like drake? 494 00:19:56,863 --> 00:19:58,329 (man) drake? 495 00:19:58,331 --> 00:19:59,730 Hell, yes. 496 00:19:59,732 --> 00:20:00,598 "started from the bottom, 497 00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:03,434 Now the whole team [bleep] here." 498 00:20:03,436 --> 00:20:06,470 Y'all like tyler, the creator? 499 00:20:06,472 --> 00:20:08,906 ♪ ♪ 500 00:20:09,575 --> 00:20:12,610 (jordan) do you know what it means when people say, 501 00:20:12,612 --> 00:20:16,514 "man, I got my shirt all fleek right now?" 502 00:20:16,516 --> 00:20:16,981 Fleek? 503 00:20:16,983 --> 00:20:18,849 - [scoffs] - [laughs] 504 00:20:18,851 --> 00:20:19,917 You ain't heard about that? On fleek? 505 00:20:19,919 --> 00:20:21,319 That's not real. 506 00:20:21,321 --> 00:20:23,321 On fleek, man. 507 00:20:23,323 --> 00:20:23,821 What? 508 00:20:23,823 --> 00:20:26,724 It means just looking to upset fresh. 509 00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:27,792 - I like that. - Mm-hmm. 510 00:20:27,794 --> 00:20:29,694 I like that. I'm going to start saying it. 511 00:20:29,696 --> 00:20:30,895 I don't care how stupid I look. 512 00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:33,731 What about "jump in full dingle?" 513 00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:34,465 That's not real. 514 00:20:34,467 --> 00:20:35,533 That's a thing. Full dingle. 515 00:20:35,535 --> 00:20:38,736 Trust me, if we go-- if we go dance somewhere 516 00:20:38,738 --> 00:20:39,670 And you jump in talking about, 517 00:20:39,672 --> 00:20:41,606 "I'm gonna jump in this party full dingle," 518 00:20:41,608 --> 00:20:44,308 And you just tell everybody, you will be the coolest person. 519 00:20:44,310 --> 00:20:45,743 Jordan, is that real? 520 00:20:45,745 --> 00:20:47,745 "on fleek" is real, though. "on fleek" is real. 521 00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:51,048 So dingle's not real? It's not real! 522 00:20:51,050 --> 00:20:51,616 [laughter] 523 00:20:51,618 --> 00:20:53,751 Full dingle is not real! 524 00:20:53,753 --> 00:20:55,319 It is now, though. 525 00:20:55,321 --> 00:20:56,087 [laughs] 526 00:20:56,089 --> 00:20:58,623 (keegan) 'cause this is a groundbreaking show up in this bitch. 527 00:20:58,625 --> 00:20:59,390 [laughter] 528 00:20:59,392 --> 00:21:01,926 (both) ♪ I'm gonna do my one line here ♪ 529 00:21:01,928 --> 00:21:03,427 (man) oh, yeah. 530 00:21:08,734 --> 00:21:09,533 Like akembe here. 531 00:21:09,535 --> 00:21:11,936 Do I run over there? 532 00:21:11,938 --> 00:21:13,838 No. Come on. 533 00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:15,439 Do I run over there? 534 00:21:15,441 --> 00:21:17,642 Be safe. 535 00:21:17,644 --> 00:21:18,776 Do I run? 536 00:21:18,778 --> 00:21:19,443 Yeah. 537 00:21:19,445 --> 00:21:19,476 [sighs]